One of the things about being a victim is the loss of control you feel.  Before the devastation of being a victim most of us feel in control of our lives.  Once we are notified of a loved one being murdered we realize we are not in control.  I have often heard from victims that they just “did what they were told” through the process.  Other people are in control and we are so traumatized we can’t even control our thinking much less fight back to those who have taken control.

It is very important for you to start taking back control regardless of how small the gesture is or how unimportant it may seem or how much of your energy will be consumed by the battle.  We must take the small steps, even though they seem like giant steps to us to re gain control.  The more you know, the more empowered you will be.  Go to criminal trials in your district, watch the process and learn about the system, when you are tired of the media’s half truths and innuendos about your loved one, write a blistering letter to the editor.  Tell the facts about your loved one (not about the case).  When a reporter wants an interview, give them one and talk about your loved one; tell them what kind of a person they were, what their dreams and plans were.  Remember the media is going to print something and if you don’t talk to them the other side will.  Also remember that the public reading the news are your jury pool.    Wouldn’t you much rather they know about your loved one?